my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize