Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize