suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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