So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
