I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize