So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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