I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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