My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
