oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
