I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
