i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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