So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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