farters have to be the big spoon...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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