You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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