What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
