so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
