Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
