Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize