ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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