The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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