We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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