do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
