STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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