Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
