Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
