white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
