Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Randomize
