I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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