Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm jealous of your bromance
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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