Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
