Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
