And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
