just come out here and I will go home with you...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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