had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
