I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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