i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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