and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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