hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
