i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
kristin has been a bad kristin
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize