Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
