You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
