she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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