At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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