I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Come share oat with me in your robe
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
