When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
