every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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