He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
