i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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