All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
