i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Are we still banned from the library?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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