would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
