Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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