That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Are we still banned from the library?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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