I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
