Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
