What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
