I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
