how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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