Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
