dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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